When I think of Oregon, I think of my friends in Portland. A group of health-conscious, IPA-sipping hipsters, these guys and gals aren’t the type of cats to buy into bogus products. They are the hacky sack champions of the world, tattooed cannabis addicts with a thing for the finer things in life like bizarro fiction, grass-fed beef, gluten-free pancakes and revivals of Jesus Christ Superstar with an all Trans cast.
When I talk to them about kratom, they know exactly what I’m talking about because their mental bandwidth is reserved for things like neuroplasticity games, bodyhacking and herbal cleanses. But they are also wary when I recommend a kratom brand.
These are people who are passionately anti-establishment and doggedly cynical when it comes to who and what they do business with. To them, business is a dirty word and not one to be trusted. So, it should come as no surprise that I got a lot of angry Facebook messages when I posted about my intention of reviewing Oregon Kratom.
A couple of people on my friends list had heard of them, but most of them had never sampled this kratom vendor’s wares. Those who had cautioned against this review, saying that I would fail miserably in my assessment of their kratom strains.
One of these noobs had the nards to tell me, “You will regret the day you brought this up, brah.”
When pressed to explain himself, my friend responded only with a poop emoji. This vague reply continues to gnaw at my brain when I’m up late, ruminating on why I’m friends with this Portland scum.
In any event, I wasn’t about to be dissuaded from doing my duty (pun very much intended), so I set about vetting Oregon Kratom with all of the gusto I bring to bear on our other signature kratom reviews.
What I discovered reaffirmed my faith in the fundamental decency of the true kratom community. The FDA can talk all the smack they want about this Ayurvedic herb, but it doesn’t negate the vast array of potential advantages that kratom has to offer those afflicted.
In the last few years, as the rest of the country has fought about gun control and marijuana dispensaries, I’ve been on the front lines of the battle on Bali kratom and the like. Along with groups like the American Kratom Association, I have watched as thoughtless hayseed bureaucrats have advocated for a kratom ban.
In that time, I’ve met a lot of people who can attest to kratom health benefits. They include 50-year olds who use kratom for arthritis, 20-year olds who have used it to kick an opiate habit and casual users in their thirties who prefer its innocuous euphoric effects to the more hazardous effects of street drugs and pharmaceuticals.
At the same time, I’ve also performed a personal taste test on just about every kratom vendor out there. Needless to say, it’s hard to impress my refined Mitragyna speciosa palate, but Oregon Kratom has done just that. Here’s a quick overview of what makes this vendor worthy of consideration.
WHO ARE THEY?
The name pretty much says it all; Oregon Kratom is an Oregon-based kratom vendor that is committed to providing quality kratom online.
As their About page reads, “All kratom varieties advertised and sold are as acquired from source countries. We never used additives or fillers so you can be sure you are receiving only the highest quality kratom identical to that which has been consumed in SE Asian countries and cultures for hundreds of years.”
This is just what my Portland pals and I like to hear. There is no sweeter music to the ears of the herb-friendly millennial than the sound of someone saying, “pure” or “organic.” It’s enough to make us shed our clothes and start a drum circle with plenty of ironic ingestion of Pabst’s Blue Ribbon.
WHAT HAVE THEY GOT?
Oregon Kratom play by the old rule of K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. They do just that with their streamlined store that features nothing but the bare essentials. You’ve got your green vein kratom powder, your red, white and yellow veins and kratom in extract and gel capsule forms.
If you’re looking to drop molly and mellow out like a puddle of a human being, but you don’t want the mounting anxiety of jaw-clenching concrete-legged confusion, their Super Red Gold X50 Extract is just the resinated treat you’ve been searching for. Fermented and dried, it’s more potent than any tincture I’ve encountered before.
Prices start at a bargain basement seven bucks which should draw the dilated pupils of my Portland homies and attract the more frugal M. speciosa freak.
WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING?
This is where Oregon Kratom really excels, in their awe-inspiring ability to draw serious word of mouth. There’s always a fair degree of buzz on sites like Reddit and forums like ilovekratom.com. But Oregon Kratom has garnered more praise than just about any other kratom vendor I can conjure offhand.
One post calls their packaging “superb” and goes on to marvel at the scanner “you can scroll your phone over to get more strain details!”
Another user gave Oregon Kratom owner Zac a shout-out, calling him “the best” and saying that he went above and beyond to help them when they had an issue with an order.
THINGS TO CONSIDER ABOUT OREGON KRATOM
Back in March, Oregon health officials urged the public to not use kratom after testing found salmonella in a number of kratom samples. This came as a rapid response to two Oregonians falling ill from taking a kratom product.
Epidemiologists at the Public Health Division of the Oregon Health Authority said the local cases were linked to a national outbreak that has sickened 48 people in 30 states.
There is no way of knowing whether the outbreak may be linked to Oregon Kratom. As such, prospective consumers should contact Oregon Kratom to ask them if they are aware of the outbreak and if they have taken proper precautions to ensure the integrity of their kratom products.
There is no shortage of places you can buy kratom online, just as there is no shortage of disreputable kratom vendors. Luckily, Oregon Kratom is one kratom vendor you can trust and that’s not me blowing smoke…that’s me Kbombing with quality kratom powder, y’all!
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